Alive
by Karma1987
Summary: Quick One shot, Michaela's musings as she recovers after her scare in season 4 'Dead or Alive'. Been a while since I wrote anything so little rusty, 1st Dr Quinn story


Disclaimer- _I do not own the characters of Dr. Quinn._

Michaela pushed her head back into the chair with resignation, she was bored, yet it was only mid morning, and she had hours of enforced stationary solitude to endure until Brian and Colleen returned from school. Sighing she brought her hand down to her to her heavily round stomach gently caressing a tiny bump where the baby was holding its foot. Michaela smiled. Though the wriggling and kicking was distracting, it was the most magical thing she had ever experienced, made even more special due to the events of 2 days ago. Sighing heavily she glanced out at the window, her eyes falling on the woods which would be similar to those that Sully and Matthew would be trekking through. Sully would have been heartbroken had something happened to the baby and through her own stubbornness something almost had. She couldn't bring herself to think the word let alone say it, and Dr Cassidy despite his belligerent nature had circumnavigated the word as well.

Michaela shook her head bringing her out of her reverie, she was struggling to shake the melancholic feelings she had at the moment, she was trying to remain upbeat, but with Sully away and the events of the last few days it was so difficult. She just wished she didn't feel so guilty, she knew she was being irrational but she couldn't help but feel as if the problems with the baby had been caused by the negative thoughts she had had about her ever changing figure and lifestyle. Only a day before the bleed she had been noticing how as she swelled up she was slowing down. How uncomfortable she was feeling at night, how her wardrobe was becoming so restricted as she struggled to button her ever tightening clothes, or how she was struggling to eat enough to keep her ravenous hunger at bay long enough for her to concentrate. How everyday she felt the niggling resentment every time someone cheerfully told her she was getting big. Michaela sighed, no one liked being told they were fat even if it was for a good reason. The feelings she knew had in no way caused her bleeding, but she knew that her worry would not help her recovery now.

Michaela sighed again, "It's alright little one, Papa will be home soon" she whispered to the baby, running her hand down the length of her torso in an attempt to quiet the incessant kicking. Cautiously Michaela heaved herself out of the chair, she knew she was supposed to remain stationary but she needed to move, her hips and lower back aching from inactivity. Slowly she made her way to the front door and stepped outside.

The February air was chilled, and she pulled her shawl tightly around her, she hoped Sully and Matthew were warm enough, wherever they were. Gently she lent back against the rough wall of the house, pushing her arching back into the straight line that until recently it had always held. They would be she was sure of it, Sully was too well versed in the ways of the woods to allow himself to become cold. She just hoped his temper held out, a temper which he kept in check so well was drawn to the surface by the exasperating Mr Lodge. Michaela winced as the baby dealt a strong kick. "I know, sit down" Michaela whispered to the baby. She slowly made her way inside, allowing herself to walk with her feet slightly further apart, almost waddling but not quite, it was much more comfortable, yet she only allowed herself to do it in private, never in front of the townsfolk. She was too proud for that, the baby was changing so much already, she didn't want to turn into a huge waddling woman just yet, she didn't think she would be able to take any of the barbed comments that would come her way from Jake or Hank even if they were meant in jest.

In an attempt to quiet her fractious mind, Michaela surveyed the kitchen, it still bore the damage from Brian's attempt at breakfast yesterday, poor Colleen had been exhausted the night before and she had failed to notice the potato peelings scattered on the floor beneath the table. Michaela reached for the dustpan and brush but stopped herself slowly bringing her hand back to her abdomen. T_ake things easy, rest_, she told herself. It was frustrating, she had spent so long struggling to be recognised as strong and independent and now she was going to have to relinquish some of that freedom. At least in Colorado Springs she didn't feel the need to be forced into Confinement as her sisters had been with their children. Or maybe the enforced rest could be classed as a type of confinement. Michaela shifted her weight, the pain in her hips easing, pain in her feet increasing. Slowly she made her way back to her armchair and lowered herself into it. 3 more months that was all she had to endure, then her life could be back to normal, 3 more months and the baby would be here, and she could get her body back. Her eyes widened as her stomach pitched to one side, the now happy healthy baby wriggled into a new position

"Are you going to let your Ma get some rest, so we can send the nasty man away" Michaela whispered in a childlike way "one kick for yes, two for no" She smiled as she felt a single yet strong kick just under her ribs, she waited a moment for another kick but none came. "Thank you little one."


End file.
